Intimacy Professionals: Stop Giving Away Your Preparation Time
You've read the script, reviewed the intimacy riders, spoken with the director, contacted Wardrobe, and started mapping out the scene. Then you arrive at rehearsal, and that is when the production considers your “paid work” to have begun. Sound familiar?
As an intimacy educator and practitioner with over 12 years of experience, I regularly remind intimacy professionals that preparation is not something extra we do because we are diligent or eager to make a good impression. It is part of the job, and it deserves to be included in your contract.
Here are three things I want intimacy professionals (and the people hiring them!) to understand.
1. Reading the script is work
We cannot arrive at rehearsal, open the script for the first time, locate the kiss, and hope for the best.
You may not realise it but before entering the room, an intimacy professional has a whole host of tasks to complete to make sure that everyone in the cast is properly supported.
These might include;
analyzing the script
identifying moments of intimacy and vulnerability
reviewing intimacy riders
speaking with performers
clarifying the director’s intentions.
We're asking questions such as: What does this moment reveal about the characters? Where does the power shift? What boundaries or practical considerations will shape the scene?
We may also need to prepare boundary-establishment exercises, closure practices, rehearsal protocols, or communication tools for the specific production.
Being supported and paid to prepare properly as an intimacy director helps create an environment of safety and support for performers. Pre-production conversations give performers the time and space to discuss their boundaries without the pressure of an entire set standing by and waiting for an answer. It reduces the risk of a performer feeling pressured to cross a boundary or enter a scene unprepared because essential conversations have been left until the last minute.
2. The costume department may know something you don’t
Intimacy does not happen in a magical void containing only the performers, director, and intimacy professional.
Costumes, wigs, makeup, prosthetics, microphones, modesty garments, set pieces, and camera positions can all affect what is physically possible.
As we explored in our article about Wicker, even the most thoughtfully designed choreography will not work if it damages a costume, dislodges a prosthetic, interferes with a microphone, or asks a performer to move in a way their clothing will not allow.
Contacting other departments, asking questions, attending fittings when necessary, and adapting the plan before rehearsals begin are all significant parts of an intimacy coordinator’s work.
And yes, those emails and meetings count as work too!
3. Include Intimacy Professional Preparation in the Contract
One thing I consistently encourage new intimacy coordinators to do is include paid preparation time in their work agreements.
When negotiating your contract, it's good practice to establish exactly what will be expected before you arrive in the room. Will you need to read the full script? Review riders? Consult with performers? Meet with the director? Attend fittings? Liaise with other departments? Prepare choreography or source practical materials?
Once you understand the scope, negotiating paid preparation time as part of your agreement is incredibly important. There is no universal rate or number of preparation days that will suit every production. A single scene in a small theatrical production will require something very different from a screen project involving multiple performers, prosthetics, nudity, or technically complex choreography.
Unfortunately, secrecy around contracts and pay can leave newer professionals unsure about what they should be negotiating. That is why I am so passionate about being more open about the labor happening before rehearsals begin.
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